Germy, but Toasty Warm

So, it was suggested by one of our dedicated readers that we try to lighten the mood somewhat. I agree that we tend to get bogged down by negativity, but hopefully you understand that we’re just trying to share our impressions and experiences with you, and unfortunately, they don’t happen to be the most positive ever. With that in mind, I’ve spent the past month or so trying to think of something good to say about this place, and I think I’ve finally thought of something. Yes, there IS one thing here that is able to, without fail, bring a smile to my face and temporarily steady my heart rate.

I am cooped up all day in an over-air conditioned office building, where I keep two scarves handy with which to insulate myself, and a pair of fake UGGs (yup, those cheesy wool boots) that I bought for $20 at a stall in the subway, and that wear around the office everyday, no matter if they do look a little silly with my business suit. You get the point – it’s cold. So there is nothing more satisfying than settling down on, you guessed it, the heated toilet seat. I don’t know who invented these things, or why they have them here, where the majority of people’s daily lives are significantly lacking in luxury (or even comfort), but I’m glad that they do. Now, whenever I have to pee, my mood brightens significantly.

Sure, electric toilets can be a little intimidating at first – they tend to have more buttons than most washing machines I’ve seen, some with Korean words I can’t decipher. Others just have pictures that look more like ancient hieroglyphics than anything else, and that you couldn’t pay me to push. I’ve heard stories of people approaching electric toilets the way that I tend to approach my Korean TV when I’m trying to switch to DVD mode – just push all the buttons until something happens – but those don’t tend to end well when the toilet is involved.

But once you’ve figured out which one turns the heat on, you’re really all set. You can bring in a good book, your PSP, or settle down for a quick nap – as Wexford suspects many of his co-workers do during lunch. I usually just like to lock myself in and focus on feeling warm for a few fabulous minutes, before I head back to my cube and chug another couple glasses of water. The only thing left to do now is convince Westerners that this is something we need in our homes and offices, so by the time I move back, there will be a nice, warm toilet seat waiting for me.